The year 2032. The Whines of India, the country’s leading newspaper, feels it’s that time of the year to revive our age-old tradition of tolerance & non-violence, and invite our dear neighbor Pakistan over for a peaceful dialogue using a new money-making, oops, confidence-building exercise called Aman ki Asha.
Indian Prime Minister Janamse Chandi, descendant of the prestigious Chandi family, has this to say, “India has always desired friendly relations with Pakistan. We are confident of a positive response from Pakistan. In the last 10 years, there have been only 999 cross-border terrorist attacks on Indian soil as opposed to 1001 attacks in the earlier decade. This is a definite sign of easing tensions between the two nations. “
On the other side of the border, the Pakistani Dictator Khaali Muhseshareef Jr. was equally elated. For the unenlightened and those who have time-travelled to the future, the Dictator is the son of the great General Muhseshareef who was once Pakistani President. The Dictator has come to power after a similar bloodless coup in 2027, with support from the aawaam of Pakistan. These were his views on the recent developments “We are very happy that India is showing an encouraging attitude. Our borders should be opened up, so Pakistan can send in militants.. errrr… diplomats to discuss steps to maintain peace & harmony in the subcontinent. There is no problem in this world that dynamite…errr… dialogue cannot solve.”
US President Chewbacca, who created history by becoming the first country premier of alien origin (another example of American cultural diversity), also welcomed the move, through his Wookie-English translator of course. He said, “We hope that the leadership in the two countries reaches a peaceful solution over all outstanding issues. The US will continue to bolster ties between India & Pakistan. Just last week, the US Congress passed a bill for giving 20 billion dollars in food aid to Pakistan. Mr. Muhseshareef has asked for guidance on the proper dispersal of this aid from China & North Korea. May the farce be with us” (Statutory Warning: The Wookie-English translator is still in developmental stages causing possible minor errors in translation. What??? You thought the translator was a person? Dude, its 2032!!!!)
Prominent citizens on both sides of the border also expressed their excitement at the news. Says ageless Bollywood superstar Ruk Ruk Khan, who continues to play lead roles with 20-something actresses even in his sixties, “I would love to dance around trees with all the pretty actresses in Pakistan. And I am also available for dancing at weddings in all the prominent Pakistani families.”
Veteran Director Mahesh Bluff, with his servant by his side to scratch his armpit, having lost the use of his left arm to old age, was especially excited at the prospect of ‘Aman ki Asha’. “I will celebrate this ground-breaking undertaking by directing a new music video featuring the latest Pakistani rock band ‘Red Hot Gelatin Sticks’. The video will be spectacular, featuring pyrotechnics using RDX that will be specially imported from our friends in Karachi. I have contacted my good friends Mr. Chaalo Azmi & Gabbar Singh of the Samajbarbaadi Party, who will personally arrange for the import of all the materials.” His comments have come as a surprise, since he has been uncharacteristically quiet in the past few weeks, refusing to comment even in the wake of the recent terrorist bombings in New Delhi, probably out of shock, as he is often silent during such incidents, only to gather his senses to speak and condemn the police after arrests are made.
Retired Pakistani Cricketer Slowab Akhtar says ”It will be a dream come true for me to follow in the steps of Wasimbhai and go to India to guide young fast bowlers there. In order to be easily available to them, I will even consider moving to Mumbai and living in either Bandra or Colaba in a place sanctioned by the BCCI.”
There is excitement all around & we are hoping to reach our Destination Peace eventually.
May the farce be with us!!!!!!!!
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